New Habits
Hey all! It’s good to see you and Happy New Year! I hope you’re recovering from the holiday season, that your holiday hangover isn’t as bad as what you expected, and your transition back into your normal sense of routine is returning.
I know folks reading this post might be impacted by the January 7, 2026 shooting death of Renee Good by ICE agents in Minneapolis. I wish I had something profound and powerful to say that would take away the pain and add in some healing. While I don’t have those profound and powerful words, the best I can do is continue to show-up, lean into my community, and be in the trenches with you. I hope you are taking care of you and your parts in this tough time. With all of the heaviness, I’ve chosen to create a post talking about habit/routine building.
Mea culpa if this is the bazillionth or so article you’re seen about this! I was choosing something to bring in a little bit of dialectics to remind us that despite the things that are going on and the heaviness that’s happening, we still got lives to live and things to do. Alright, onto the post.
The Habit Builder’s Blueprint: How to Design and Sustain Lasting Change
The new year often brings a surge of motivation to overhaul our lives—to start exercising, learn a new skill, or finally get a handle on our finances. Yet, by mid-February, those grand resolutions often feel like distant memories. Building and maintaining new habits isn’t about sheer willpower; it’s about understanding the science of change, structuring your environment for success, and embracing self-compassion when you stumble. So I pulled together information from all corners of my office to create a “blueprint” for how to design and sustain lasting change. My blueprint includes 3 phases that pull from psychology and behavioral sciences.
Phase 1: Understanding and Initiating Change (Prochaska’s Transtheoretical Model)
Before you can build a habit, it’s helpful to understand where you are in the journey of change. Prochaska’s Transtheoretical Model (TTM), or Stages of Change, provides a map for this process. Recognizing your stage allows you to apply the most effective strategies. A helpful description of each stage and a key action step is found below. I invite you to pause the recording to take a look before moving on.
The Five Stages of Change
| Stage | Description | Key Action |
|---|---|---|
| 1. Precontemplation | Not intending to take action in the foreseeable future (next 6 months). Unaware or unwilling to change. | Raise awareness of the need and benefits of the habit. |
| 2. Contemplation | Intending to change in the next 6 months. Weighing the pros and cons; often ambivalent. | Resolve ambivalence. Focus on the benefits of the new habit. |
| 3. Preparation | Intending to take action soon (next month). Has a plan, but may need fine-tuning. | Set a specific start date and create a clear action plan. |
| 4. Action | Behavior modification has occurred (for less than 6 months). Requires significant commitment of time and energy. | Implement the new habit and reinforce positive steps. This is where “Atomic Habits” strategies shine. |
| 5. Maintenance | Sustaining the new behavior for over 6 months and working to prevent relapse. | Integrate the habit into your identity and lifestyle. |
The Stages of Change Takeaway: Don’t jump straight into the Action stage. Work with yourself by working within the stage you find yourself in. So if you’re in Contemplation, spend time defining why change is important. If you’re in Preparation, focus on setting up your environment before day one. You don’t need to rush this and it’s ok if you find yourself in 2 stages at once.
Phase 2: Designing Your Habits for Success (Atomic Habits)
Once you’re in the Action stage, the practical steps outlined in James Clear’s book Atomic Habits becomes invaluable. The core idea is that big results come from small, incremental improvements. Clear’s framework, based on the Four Laws of Behavior Change, provides a systematic approach to making good habits inevitable and bad habits invisible. A helpful description of each law and application is found below. Again, I invite you to pause the recording to take a look before moving on.
| Law | Principle | Application for a Good Habit (e.g., Reading) |
|---|---|---|
| 1. Make It Obvious | Cues trigger habits. Your environment should make the cue unmissable. | Place the book on your pillow or right next to your coffee maker. |
| 2. Make It Attractive | Pair the desired behavior with something you already enjoy (Temptation Bundling). | Only let yourself drink your favorite tea while reading. |
| 3. Make It Easy | Reduce the friction of starting the habit. Scale it down to the two-minute rule. | Read for just two minutes, or just one page. The goal is consistency, not volume. |
| 4. Make It Satisfying | Reward yourself immediately after the habit, and track your progress. | Use a habit tracker (don’t break the chain) and give yourself a small, immediate non-food reward. |
For breaking a bad habit, the laws are inverted: Make It Invisible, Make It Unattractive, Make It Difficult, and Make It Unsatisfying. The key is to control the environmental cues and the immediate reward loop.
Phase 3: Sustaining the Habit Through Self-Compassion and Mindset
The biggest threat to habit maintenance isn’t a lack of motivation, but a moment of relapse handled poorly. Relapse is where an old pattern remerges. Temporarily or long-term: we can argue about that later in the therapy space. But a relapse is just a reemergence of old behaviors. This is where building psychological insight into your mindset is crucial.
Ditch the Inner Drill Sergeant
Dr. Laurie Santos’ podcast The Happiness Lab often emphasizes the counterproductive nature of harsh self-criticism. In her episode, “Dump Your Inner Drill Sergeant,” she discusses how treating yourself kindly—especially after a mistake—is more effective for long-term goal attainment than self-flagellation.
- Practice Self-Compassion: When you miss a day, don’t let a slip become a slide. Instead of thinking, “I failed, I might as well quit,” acknowledge the lapse with kindness: “That happens. What can I do better tomorrow?” This is where you can pull in a lot of self-compassion work by Kristin Neff. There’s a link right here to a previous blog post if you want to take a look.
- The “Never Miss Twice” Rule: James Clear advocates for the “Never Miss Twice” rule. Missing one workout doesn’t ruin your progress; it’s the second consecutive miss that starts a new, negative habit chain. Self-compassion helps you immediately focus on getting back on track, rather than spiraling into guilt.
Integrating Habits into Identity
Finally, to move firmly into the Maintenance stage, the American Psychological Association (APA) podcast Speaking of Psychology often highlights the power of identity-based habits. Instead of focusing on the outcome (“I want to lose 10 pounds”), focus on the person you want to become (“I am a healthy person who exercises daily”).
- Shift Your Self-Talk: When asked to go for a run, the person focused on the outcome might say, “I should go for a run.” The person focused on identity says, “I am a runner, and runners go running.”
- Small Wins Reinforce Identity: Every small habit action is a vote for the type of person you want to be. The more votes you cast, the stronger your new identity becomes, making the habit less about discipline and more about simply acting in accordance with who you are.
So there you have it! Something that’s been on my brain. Building new habits is a cyclical process of preparation, action, evaluation, and adjustment. Keep in mind- it’s still progress if you find yourself taking small steps in the right direction. And those small steps often mean a better chance at grounded and sustainable change. I hope this finds you well. Know that I see you and I’m rooting for you. Take care of yourselves and each other.