
Pride Month and Allyship
Hey! Welcome back and it’s good to see you. And happy Pride Month to the 2SLGBTQIA+ community! Actually, Pride Month is something that’s been on my brain. I want to talk about the history of Pride Month and allyship in this month’s post.
What is Pride Month?
Pride Month traces a root back to the Stonewall Uprising. Interactions between police and 2SLGBTQIA+ protestors at the Stonewall Inn in Manhattan, New York City led to a police raid on June 28, 1969. Homosexuality was considered a crime in 1969, which was used by police as justification to raid places where 2SLGBTQIA+ community members gathered. The 2SLGBTQIA+ community organized a protest the same day at and around the Stonewall Inn to demonstrate against systems of oppression and discrimination. The first Pride March occurred on June 28, 1970 to commemorate the 1969 Stonewall Uprising. Since 1970, a collection of parades, picnics, parties, workshops, symposiums, and concerts evolved into what we now know as Pride Month. The focus of Pride Month is to recognize the contributions of the 2SLGBTQIA+ community and remember those who have been lost to hate crimes or HIV/AIDS.
First Things First
I think there are important things to acknowledge right away when talking about the 2SLGBTQIA+ community. Keep in mind that all of these ideas are layered together and that you can’t talk about one of these points without acknowledging the others.
First; the 2SLGBTQIA+ community is made up of individuals who identify as 2-spirit, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer/questioning, intersex, and asexual. The + allows for space for all sexual orientations, romantic orientations, and gender identities that are not explicit in the 2SLGBTQIA+ term.
Second; the 2SLGBTQIA+ community encompasses a broad range of individuals who represent sexual and gender minorities. The predominant majority group in the United States are individuals who identify as cis-gender heterosexual. I suggest using terms “in-group” and “out-group” if you don’t like the terms “minority” and “majority.” The terms in-groups/out-groups come from the work of Henri Tajfel and John C. Turner in their 1979 paper about social identity theory. In a nutshell, in-groups are social groups to which a person identifies as being a member of and out-groups are the opposite. There are a whole bunch of different attributes we can use to create in-groups/out-groups, such as race, age, religion, profession, level of education, immigration status, political affiliation, which sports team you root for, and genre of music. I bet you could come up with a few other identifiers that people have used to create in-groups/out-groups.
Third; There are benefits to being a part of an in-group, such as gaining a sense of belonging, purpose, self-worth, and identity. And there are a whole host of complications when humans start categorizing themselves into groups. Complications like in-group favoritism, intergroup conflict, stereotyping, and prejudice. I think complications if addressed in a meaningful and healthy way can help a group grow. Unaddressed complications can lead down the slippery slope towards oppression. 2SLGBTQIA+ community historically has been cast as an out-group, meaning community members are constantly facing threats against their safety and well-being.
Finally, all of the previous points are leading up to discussing and acknowledging privilege. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, privilege is a “right or immunity granted as a peculiar benefit, advantage, or favor.” Members of the 2SLGBTQIA+ community do not have the same privileges afforded to their cis-gender heterosexual counterparts. And the privilege decreases if your 2SLGBTQIA+ community status intersects with being a person of color. So I’m going to use myself as an example. I identify as a white cis-gender heterosexual female. Because of my cis-gendered heterosexual privilege, nobody questioned my right to marry my husband, I don’t have to justify my identity or legitimize my sexual orientation, I don’t have to fear violence against my being or fear losing close relationships if I disclose I belong to the 2SLGBTQIA+ community. I don’t have to worry about coming out and I don’t have to worry as much about experiencing oppression. For the most part I can go about my life without having to think twice about it.
Defining Allyship
I can’t speak to what it’s like to be a part of the 2SLGBTQIA+ community. What I can speak to is what it’s like being an ally to friends and family. My definition of allyship is showing up and supporting others who are outside of the communities I am a part of. It’s continuing to learn about the world around me and strive to find empathy. I also work on continuing to understand my privilege, to use it wisely, and keep it in check. I do my damndest to make sure I “get it right” instead of “being right” when I am in a conversation or interaction with others.
Growing Your Own Allyship
Allyship is a process and doesn’t have room for a “set-it-and-forget-it” mentality. I think you don’t get to call yourself an ally if you aren’t committed to a lifetime of growth. It’s helpful to think about allyship as a journey, where you start with awareness that there is something outside of you, you educate yourself, examine your beliefs, ultimately striving for understanding and empathy (Keep in mind, you do need a level of educating yourself. Many communities are tired of trying to teach others and not being heard). I can sum up all of the awareness activities as putting-yourself-in-someone-else’s-damn-shoes. This can be a good enough stopping point. There are some people who will not be able to go farther than building awareness and that’s ok. For those who can go farther, the next steps are building relationships, taking meaningful action that makes sense to them, and advocating for others. Go figure out where you’re at and make an inner commitment to nurture the space you find yourself in or the courage to go one step further.
Your Call To Action
So there you have it! Something that’s been on my brain. For those of you who are part of the 2SLGBTQIA+ community- go celebrate! You’re worth it and I’m so glad you’re here! For those outside of the 2SLGBTQIA+ community- keep working on being the best ally you can. I hope this finds you well. Know that I see you and I’m rooting for you. Take care of yourselves and each other.