Perfectionism/May is Mental Health Awareness Month!
Hi! Welcome back and it’s good to see you.
I have something I would like to own up to before I dive in. Lately, I’m noticing more of my own traits of perfectionism. Not surprised perfectionism is popping up more for me at this time. I know from past experience I tend to be harder on myself during periods of transition. I still consider myself transitioning into a new practice and writing a blog. A quick Google search will easily generate a list of perfectionism traits (You can find more about perfectionism here). 3 traits that I’m wrestling with are:
- Increased judgments
- Procrastinating a project out of fear of failure
- Projecting an image of flawlessness
These three traits have been kicking my ass since April. The personal judgments started with clicking “publish” on my first post! For the record: I define judgments as “additional unnecessary information about something.” You can find more about DBT’s version of judgments and non-judgmental stance here. If I can’t describe an item, person, or situation using my 6 senses (seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, touching, or moving) or use phrases like “I’m thinking about…” to show I’m observing my own thoughts, then whatever is going on in my brain has a higher chance of moving into judgment territory. So, after hitting “publish,” I immediately went to the blog tab to see what it looked like and the narrative in my head went something like: “Ew! What the fuck were you thinking? This is garbage! There isn’t any originality in here and it looks like you’re babbling on for the sake of wanting attention! Nobody is going to take you seriously or even cares.” Oft! Thank goodness this version of me is better resourced than past versions of myself. I ended up taking a deep breath, coached myself to get to a more compassionate place, and started making observations about legitimate things I can tinker with.
That got me through April and my first blog post. The other 2 traits were hot on April’s heels and made preparing for May tough. I put off writing this post until the very last minute because I did not want to have the judgy personal thoughts again. And I did put off writing this post because I want to be perceived as your bad-ass, flawless therapist. Showing you any kind of messiness does not jibe with that image!
So here’s my commitment to myself and to you: I know this blog is imperfect. I promise not to hide my imperfections about writing a blog. It puts increased pressure on me which impacts how I show up for you. And I know it’s helpful to see others wrestle with their imperfections. It makes us more human to each other, normalizes that we are all trying, and celebrates growth. I promise to keep leaning in. I promise to continue to show up and give you the best that I can each month. And I promise to try to limit trying one new thing per month (can you guess the new thing I did this month is?).
Thank you for indulging me! I’m aware you’re not here to get the full low-down on my process of creating this blog. So- Here’s something else that’s been on my brain:
Mental Health Awareness Month! Or Mental Health Month. Whatever floats your boat. Fun fact! Mental Health Month has a history. Mental Health Month was first observed in 1949 and was created by Mental Health America (MHA). MHA is America’s longest-running national mental health organization. The organization’s mission is to advance the mental health and well-being of all people living in the United States through public education, research, advocacy and policy, and direct service. The ribbon awareness color for this month is green, which symbolizes hope, strength, and emotional support.
I think MHA’s founder, Clifford Beers, is an interesting guy. That’s his photo you see floating around the page. Beers was born in 1876 and was admitted to multiple mental health institutions throughout his life for symptoms of depression and psychosis. He experienced abuse, stigma, and inadequate treatment in mental health facilities. Beers wrote of his experiences in his 1908 memoir “A Mind That Found Itself: an Autobiography” (read here and listen here). He founded the “National Committee for Mental Hygiene” in 1909, which was renamed to MHA in later years. Beers’ goal was to reform treatment for mental illness.
Each year, MHA selects a theme for Mental Health Month. Past themes include: “Mental Illness Feels Like;” “Where to Start;” and my personal favorite “Back to Basics.” This year’s theme is “Turn Awareness into Action,” be it small actions you can take for yourself to care for your mental health or something you do that furthers the overall well-being of a community that is important to you. So the small steps I took with addressing my perfectionism traits, your willingness to read this post and digest what you take away, and the simple fact we choose to continue to show up for each other- ways we impact ourselves and the communities we are a part of, hence turn action into awareness.
Something I want to make sure is called out: Some of us will choose to set ourselves on fire to keep others warm. Let me say it again: Some of us will choose to set ourselves on fire to keep others warm. This statement means we might bypass our own needs in order to care for someone else’s needs or a community goal. Choosing to do this sets us up for not being well in all of its shapes and sizes. I don’t think it’s MHA’s goal to have people compromise their well-being, however, I know there are some brains out there that will take a different view on MHA’s theme and will start shaming the shit out of themselves. It takes a toll and is harder to recover from. My advice to you is this: Choose caring for yourself first. Caring for others will come from an even stronger place if you care for yourself first. And caring for yourself is radical and needed. If the judgmental voice inside of your head starts beating you up, then make sure you tap into my voice saying you have permission to care for yourself first.
So there you have it! Something that’s been on my brain. I encourage you to go find yourself or create a green ribbon. Go do something small that nourishes you and know that it’s ok if that’s all you can do. I hope this finds you well. Know that I see you and I’m rooting for you. Take care of yourselves and each other.
Clifford Beers